I will be okay one day …

We had met after 10 long years,10 years 9 months 17 days to be precise .The silence was still the same, both of our mouths dry with the urge to let out the unsaid words or the unsaid apologies.

Finally you broke the silence ,”so how you’ve been all these years?”I manage to reply softly despite the ego and anger which had become a part of me during these years of torment!

We start walking down the street towards the old café which was our all time favourite spot during the golden college days!

The warm air was the same, smell of the coffee still refreshing ,you go for the spot near the last window as usual to have a view of the pink trumpet tree . Autumn at its peak time ,the concrete seemed to have been covered in a pink blanket.

Staring blankly at the window with the glassy grey eyes,you questioned me “so have you forgiven me?”

My heart ached and it felt like all the pain had returned at that hour.I manage to hold back the tears which had welled up in my eyes ,more out of longing than anger.

“Chrissy ?”He broke my reverie .”yes Nathan a long time ago”I reply with the bravest smile I could put on!

You return my fake portrayal of strength with a faint smile and gulp down the last sip of your favorite lattĂ© .The 10 minutes walk to my house was no less than an ordeal,I could see the guilt in your eyes and I don’t know if this makes me a bad person,but there was a sense of pleasure in that realisation of the fact that you felt the guilt of having wronged me.

You bid goodbye to me after that fairly awkward meeting and I was yet again caught amidst the silence of the 4 walls of my house. But this time this silence was comforting for I had finally fought off the biggest weakness of my life ‘you’!

Though I have no idea when I will completely emerge out of this darkened ditch but I do know, that day is very close!

-Anukriti Singh

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